10 reasons why clients should have their nephew design their website
1. He has Photoshop, Dude.
Their nephew has a hacked version of Photoshop 7 that he pulled off of The Pirate Bay. That’s as good as any up to date design program you have, I assure you. He also is amazing at making reflections and stuff in there so, you’re already a step behind.
2. He’s Cheaper and/or Free
Let’s face it, good design costs money. When the clients nephew works for pizza or just a family favor his cost is already way less than you can conceive. He has no overhead because this is just a hobby. It’s also important to note that his quality will be better because he “knows”.
3. He provides unlimited revisions
That’s pretty self explanatory, you can’t even compete with that.
4. He has a longer client relationship than you’ll ever have
Their nephew has known them since he was born and well, you just met them. So, don’t take it to hard when you realize that they already have a lifetime of first hand experience with the client. The client saw their first steps. What did you see? Their poorly designed website and inquired about the re-design?
5. He will be praised at Christmas dinner (Where you won’t be)
What better time to haggle and praise him than at Christmas. His parents will be so proud that he is still working on this amazing site that they’ll brag about him to all the family. Heck, even the client will be there. You can’t offer this kind of service so, just hang it up already.
6. He’ll make the logo…well, bigger
He knows everything about the web already. He knows that a logo is better when it’s the biggest possible thing on the screen. Plus, he’s not afraid to make it bigger than you’re ever willing to make it.
7. He has Photoshop, Remember?
Again, Photoshop. He has it.
8. He practically created the interwebs
He’s had all kinds of classes in school like intro to keyboarding. He was basically around when Al Gore created the internet so, he knows all the tricks. He doesn’t even bother with SEO because capital letters are “teh suck“.
9.This Technically accurate list post says so
Because we know, that you know, we know. Ya know?
10. He has a Myspace account
Myspace is social media at its finest. He doesn’t have a twitter account or a website or waste time on analytics. He just puts up on myspace that he is a designer and viola. He is. Because out of all his 62 creepy old guy Myspace friends they’ll give him more traffic than you ever could through campaigns or any other well designed campaign launch.
Chad Engle is currently slaying pixels @BoomtownROI. He abides in coastal Charleston, SC and enjoys living on an island. You should follow, harass or chat to him on twitter @chadengle and @fuelcreativity .
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ROFL! I love it. :P
Haha. Classic. Love it, Chad! Love it!
JB
The number of times I’ve heard the actual reasons in this post worries me! Love it though!
Love it :) Although, i think at least one of your graphics should have been an animated GIF, gratuitously gaudy flash or a broken link because the file is looking for a file on your local drive (C:\my documents\website\pictures\dancingbaby.gif)
I thought about it… I was afraid people would send me messages all day “one of your links is broken”. So I opted for horribly colored examples. :)
thanks for the article. when will clients ever learn? =|
So true!
Ha! Lovely use of comic sans on the examples, too.
Great post, laughed from start to finish.
Never thought I’d see that fish fill being used!
Cheers,
Aaron Kilcoyne
I’m so glad you used Papyrus. If it’s good enough for James Cameron in “Avatar,” it definitely has to be good enough for you. ;)
Hi Chad,
At first glance,I thought this post was written for April Fool’s. Nice concept you have. Cute.
What ever gave you that idea ;)
This might be true…
If you have a brain dead nephew.
Anyone with a Mac, an appreciation for design, and good taste can make a good-looking and easy-to-use website.
I know people are gonna get mad, but seriously.
Helvetica is so ubiquitous, anyone with a blog can understand design/typeface jokes.
By the way, “Inspiration Smorgasbord”? It’s called a “tumblr”.
Excellent haha
Love your amazing photoshop skills :D
I like article, but hate the graphics
Awesomesauce!
The old ‘My Nephew The Designer’ shpeel, love hearing that. Or even better ‘I do a bit of design myself…’
If you want a job done, get the Nephew to do it. Very funny article loving the lame graphics too, happy April Fools day
So funny! So true!
Like the article. However I also have to say that it is also unfair to say that the nephew is a bad graphic designer. With my work in the Auto industry I have come across 15-17 year olds that can design cars better than some Industrial Design Grads who have taken anywhere from a 4-6 year degree program at a top design school. Also the stating of the word nephew does not say how old the nephew is. Maybe the nephew is a University grad who does have a hacked program, that is also an awesome graphic designer. Well anyway this is really a subject that can have more than fifteen different sides to one story. Some may be bad, some may be awesome!
Yeah, but if the nephew was actually that good, a “real” designer would not be contacting the proud aunt or uncle offering to make the web site better, would they? If he was that good, the designer would be sitting back appreciating it with the rest of the family/clients…though admittedly not at Christmas Dinner.
And, what about the talented niece?
Funny and so true, which makes it even funnier. Now I assume “said nephew” will be hosting the web site on a server in his basement!
That’d be too technical. Geocities is the way to go.
I got a good laugh out of these. It is a bit scary as to how many of these I’ve heard before… but you forgot to include the stupid idiotic music that plays amazing loud when you land on a page.
Sometimes the loud music needs to be part of the design.
- Can I sing the finale for this gag yet?
haha. Never gets old.
That. Is. Awesome.
Having Photoshop of course is the number one reason, but the nephew should have Corel Draw too, so he can print a brochure or business cards that match the website.
Thank you for the laugh! :)
HAH! Loved it. Thoroughly.
Hey, I know what you are trying to do here and it’s really rude. ANd for the record, I moved on from myspace to FB a really long time ago, yo.
You must just be really hard up for some clients or something. Sicko.
This isn’t just for the web…this applies to all aspects of design!! Come on!
I do follow that sir. That way they can have more discount bundles :)
haha love it!
Trust be told though I started out as that nephew though :)
Same here.
It’s fun to be “the nephew” when you’re 15. But, it gets kind of annoying after you become a professional and family comes to you asking you every single computer questions known to man.
Number six is my absolute fave. Effective Design = SHOUTING!!!!
Great Stuff! Thanks…I love the “ate” also
FTW! I’ve actually heard a few of these reasons! Great post!
Yep.
I’m definitely sending this to my uncle.
He has Photoshop, as you said!
Really nice post!
You forgot to mention that the nephew also knows SEO / all shopping carts / and has a Google Wave account all ready to go.
So do you recommend against nieces? If so, why?
— Stephan
What about hiring my niece?
Love this post. We have heard this story often, but only after clients come to us because their son, nephew or other friend of the family failed.
Best use of Papyrus and Comic Sans I’ve seen since a friend’s nephew designed a flyer for his garage sale… :o)
BEST. EVER. Seriously.
As a nephew myself, I am deeply offended by this article.
Anyway you’re wrong, you can get CS4 off pirate bay, so check your sources mate.
An angry nephew
http://designedbymynephew.com/
Why doesn’t that link go anywhere? has anyone bought it yet? I’m changing my company name to that.
it friggen rocks.
Hilarious! Nice work Chad. Did you just have such an experience? I sense a bit of venting in there ;)
Don’t forget he has dreamweaver too and knows inline-styles are the great new thing cuz you can get rid of that stupid underline on links!
And he has Photoshop. Awesome :).
Genius!
This was funny! Thank you!
I love the unlimited revision part…
It really can be so difficult to come up with the exact look you really wanted unless you see the actual output .
Having a nephew work for your web[age can be more than advantageous lol
As a web designer I say choose your nephew. I’m going to have to e-mail my aunts and uncles. They need websites and punked out myspaces complete with glittery graphics. Great post!
so true!
BTW, there’s a typo in number 4… (”to” needs to be “too”)
You forgot number 11, He got a Mac for Christmas 2 years ago. And number 12, The kid down the street who normally works on our Computer got grounded for running up his parents credit cards on cam girls.
Very good. I should say, I won my first job over the cousin/nephew/whatever competition and it made me very proud of my smart client. Good clients ARE out there…
Nice cheek ache from reading that – The funny/not funny thing is the timelessness of it.
It´s the sort of thing I´ve read in http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com/
the truth like a fist in the face… so sad, but reality sucks…